So now you are here.

Alright, so I'll assume you have arrived safely in LA. There is a lot of knowledge I wish to bestow so I will try and get it done as systematically as possible. First things first. LA and where to live and not get mugged and field dressed by a gang. (Note: Field dressed does not mean put into a dress and placed into a field, though I am sure certain places of LA would look highly on such prospects too.)

I think one important thing is to not watch the news. The news will only tell you the bad things, and make you depressed, cause, well, it IS LA. Bad stuff happens, so lets just make sure it doesn't happen to you. Now LA in general is HUGE!!! Do not think it is small. It is about as big as Baltimore and Washington DC put together. So driving places will take a lot longer. People like to say LA traffic sucks, but in my opinion after living in Maryland and in Virginia and commuting into DC both ways like some sort of disillusioned epidermal, I can say that the traffic (if you are smart and know the roads) isn't that bad. Certain roads generally suck, and every highway intersection will cause traffic, but the main thing about LA is the distance.

There are several places to live in the LA area that are both safe, inexpensive, and commuter friendly. First, Burbank. Also known as the Valley. This place is a popular starter location for people coming to LA. People will often speak ill of it, though I don't know why. I think they are just prissy. The think about Burbank is the HEAT. Burbank is in a valley where the temperature builds up, so it will be about 10 degrees hotter than anywhere else will be. Now you may say "Well, gee golly, that isn't so bad Mi omigo." because you are apparently a master of Spanglish. This is wrong, oh so wrong. So would saying "I like to put tacos in the refrigerator." which while not specifically Spanglish, still rings true. I would also like to note at this point that Spanglish, according to blogspot, is apparently a legit word. But the point I am trying to make it this. These are things that are NOT included in LA apartments:
Air Conditioning.
Microwaves.
Dishwashers.
Refrigerators.

That's right kids. No refrigerators. I have often wondered why I haven't seen little old women carrying around refrigerators on their backs from abode to abode, but apparently that is how it works. So when you are looking for a place to live you have to ask about those four things, or you may be in for a surprise when you show up with a whole bunch of frozen cold cuts you are looking to put on ice.

So Burbank has its nice spots. Now Pasadena. This is where I live. Woot etc. It is a very nice place to live and has a hell of a bar strip that, and this is key, has no cover for the bars. LA is a bizatch for charging outrageous covers for bars, but these are very fun, clubs on some streets, down and dirty bars on others, but all within walking distance, safe, and cover free. Pasadena, however, costs a little more, and if you want to live here be careful about where you live. Too far south, will because way too expensive. Anywhere above the 210 will start to become a bit too sketchy. And too far East past Lake Ave will also get you into sketchy areas as well. Granted it is a bit more of a drive to get places than Burbank, but it is still doable. 30 min for me in the morning to get into the guts of Hollywood.

Glendale. Looks nice, and there are prob. some parts that are nice. I, however, have only seen the ghetto of it. And there seems to be a lot of it too. Some parts to the West, nearer the end of Los Feliz road are very nice, but getting back over Interstate 5 going East will get you back into the more seedy areas. If you want to live here I recommend doing your research.

North Hollywood and Studio City. Much like Burbank, and frankly I don't know why they don't group them all together. Again do your research, but the commute from all three will be about the same and the style of residence will be comparable.

Hollywood. Yep Hollywood right in the heart. Too expensive? No, but again do your research, but these locations do go fast. Very fast. So if you find a place consider yourself lucky, and you will pay for the convenience. One thing that is a bit weird though, no trees. Very few trees in general in California. And the traffic will be terrible all the time, but you can walk to any bars you want though. If you live west towards Beverly Hills, mucho expensive. East little more ghetto but affordable. South is a little more ghetto but you can find the right areas.

Marina Del Rey is also good but has the advantage of being close to the water and some of the crazy touristy areas. Prices can be very good and the area is pretty safe, but quality is street to street. Watch the prices here though.

If I hadn't mentioned it before you should definitely check out http://www.lalife.com/. It tells ratings of areas in the LA area and all kinds of information that you can find useful.

Well I'm tired of talking about the places to live. But it is information you need to know. Stay safe, and check information online. Oh, don't live near USC, you may think "Oh it's a college it's safe." and in addition to you mental punctuation being wrong you are very wrong about it being safe. Cause USC is near south central LA. It is not a safe place hell no. UCLA is nice, but costly. Peperdine is in the Malibu area and expeeeeensive. But nice. And.... I'm done.