The RUN.....

I really do need to work on my timing. I hate how I let my blogs laps and then can’t recall when it was I have already written. Well, tis been a busy couple of weeks so I shall try to summarize effectively. Work is going well, we have moved on from Kindergarten style drawing and team building to learning about laws and patents and all the other good bits that make up the organization. Little intimidating, especially since so many people there are rocking PhDs and multiple masters and have the ability to lift stuff with their mind and here I ma rocking out a degree in film. HA! But I am holding my own. So all in all the job is good, got paid, always a pleasing thing to see more money in your bank account than you started with. But the commute. Oh… well, there I may have a couple more issues.

Aside from the fact that the train has broken down and we had to be pushed to the next stop like some sort of railroad ferry, it hasn’t had too many spontaneous troubles. But something I’ve come to notice, and sadly, partake in, is the run. Yes… the RUN. Let me set the stage for you. I arrive in the morning, a little on the early side so as to get a decent spot to park, then wander over to the train, validate my ticket and board. Nothing too messy, and I often get a seat on the second floor of the train with a view. Pleasant all around minus the fact that at 5:15 in the morning my breath crystallizes on the air. But on the way back…. I will board the train, and if lucky get a seat. Sometimes, as I did last day, I had to hike through EVERY CAR. This was because any conductor seeing me, and no not the one who waves around a little stick with an orchestra behind him, which I admit would be pleasant and would also accurately explain the lack of seating, but no, the kind who tells you you can’t stand on the train, would see me and “inform me” and I say it with quotes because it was a damned lie, that there were seats in the front car. Now THAT was a long sentence. But anyway, I would nod, and then hike HIKE across 10 cars to the front car, falling on people as I go because, well it IS a train. And then not find a seat. So sad. But anyway, we will say I managed to squeeze in on a seat somewhere. Now I pull out my laptop and watch a show (pleasing situation, albeit a little weird when I feel like people next to me only ever happen to glance over when there is a sex scene or little cartoon characters dying or something equally in need of explanation). But then about 15 minutes out from my stop, a person will get up and stand next to the train door. Then another. About this time I get the hint and go stand too. And everyone “tightens down”, meaning they zip up coats, tighten belts, harness weapons, and grip keyboards tightly. Then the train pulls into the stop, with the gears of the brakes a twangin. You can feel the suspense, the tension. Then the doors open…. And the RUN happens. Now I think the easiest way to explain this is in two parts. Part 1) There is only 1 exit from the parking lot, and it goes to a traffic light, so in essence it is VERY easy to get stuck getting out onto the main road. And Part 2) Have you ever seen the intro to the Drew Carry show where everyone is running through the streets flailing and panicking? Yea, it’s kind of like that. The doors open and everyone takes that one step off the train and GOES. I have never seen so many middle-aged men and women get all their exercise for the day in one go. I mean there are a couple who just I would assume, don’t want to go home so they walk EXTRA slow, and so the rest are ducking and weaving around them to get down the platform but when they hit that open parking lot they are just a blur of speed and a dot on the horizon running to their cars, leaping in, slamming the door and peeling out. And this isn’t just a couple people, this is EVERYONE. And on occasion I have had to park out on the street when the lot has been REALLY full, but the problem with this is that there is no way to get out into traffic on the street while everyone is piling out of the parking lot, so on those rare occasions where I have had to park there I had to HAUL ASS. I would run, be sweating and speed up to my door, while glancing behind me to see the first car coming around the corner that would block me in, and horror movie style trying to get the key into the lock, and then leaping in and peeling out with many a fearful glance at the monsters behind me. It is ridiculous, and retarded. And so that is the more… unusual part of my day every day.

But other than that life has been good. Got to go “skiing” and then later skiing. “Skiing” being where I went snowshoeing and Snowshoe resort and when I say Snowshoeing I mean we asked the people working AT-SNOWSHOE-RESORT and they said they did not do any Snowshoeing there. Riiiight. Well, we decided they were retarded and went and found the train anyway and hiked it through deep snow Eskimo style. So, Boo Snowshoe resort because they don’t even know what they have for stuff. We also tried tubing there and it was very not good at all. You would slide a good ten feet then stop because they had turned off the snow makers about 3 weeks before. This is January mind you. Bravo Snowshoe, bravo.

But then last weekend we went to Wisp snow resort in MD. And while I have Maryland with a burning passion of a thousand suns I am willing to grant that there may be a small oasis for the wandering adventurer in that wasteland, called Wisp Ski Resort. They had their shit together and while it was the most crowded weekend of the year for some competitiony thing, they rocked out and were easy and fun to use. Got to ski for real, and I don’t horribly suck. Only ate it a few times. Taught the wife to ski, and she got good quick. But I would like to sum up the one flaw of that weekend as follows:
Ski Rental: $50
Lift Ticket: $45
Ski Lessons: $10
Running over a bunch of retarded snowboarders who whenever they fall down feel obligated to make snow angels in the middle of the slope: Priceless.

Yes, I don’t know why, but every snowboarder feels obligated to ritualistically sit down in the middle of the track for about a half an hour at a go. A few skiers too, but man, there were lot of people just, sittin on the slopes. I was watching the black diamond trails from the ski lift and watching snow boarders chugging along, stop, and sit down in the middle to hang. And this is a black diamond, aka one of these \ and sometimes one of these | and people would fly at them and have to fly into the trees to avoid. So odd.

But all in all a good weekend, but now I have a cold as I work my 9 hour days, yes 9 hours. We have a 9-9-9-9-8 / 9-9-9-9-off bi-week for some reason so basically I work long hours then suffer alone every other Friday cause I have nothing to do. Oh well. So with my sniffles I blog. I wish I had more to discuss, and I am sure I do. Let us select something from the blog bag shall we!

HA! This was something I came up with I thought I would mention:
“Yep, that’s what I do when I find someone injured or stabbed or whatever. I either yell at them, or scream for no real apparent reason.” Oh TV how you portray us.

Ooh, here was an interesting idea. Objective, create a crack team of people to complete missions of the utmost difficulty and danger, comprised solely… of real life people from television. Now this can be actors, or reality TV people. Who do you pick?

Here is my selection:

Recruit Number 1: Mr. Wizard
Placement: Science and Arson
Reason for choice: We need someone who knows the ins and outs of the chemical world, who can assist the team in a scientific capacity and aid in any way possible.

Recruit Number 2: Mr. Rodgers (Deceased)
Placement: Military expertise and infiltration expert.
Mr. Rodgers the man was a Green Beret and hence one of the most deadly men on the screen. Additionally he can infiltrate any locale using his skills at acting and his excessively likeable and calm persona. But, you may ask, isn’t he dead? Well, that is what Mr. Wizard is for. Say hello to Zombie Mr. Rodgers.

Recruit Number 3: 2005 Winning Team of the Robot Fighting Competition.
Placement: Science and research and armament.
Reason for choice: They build great big fighting robots. Need I explain further?

Recruit Number 4: Crocodile Hunter (Deceased)
Placement: Animal Handling, and Wilderness Survival
Reason for choice: We needed someone capable of taking the team through the harshest of conditions and surviving on nothing. And while we could employ Mr. Wizard to rejuvenate the Croc Hunter we found it in our best interest to take the Million Dollar Man approach and this employed the Robot Fighting Competition team to rebuild him, bigger, better, faster, and to spend just enough money. He is now Cyborg Crocodile Hunter.

Recruit Number 5: York (Not Born Yet)
Placement: Muscle
Reason for Choice: The yet to be grandchild of Mr. T and Hulk Hogan, this slightly ethnic monstrosity will be brought back in time to be the muscle, nay, they TON of muscle and badassery of the group, with many a witty PG retort to keep the team motivated and on track.

Recruit Number 6: That guy from the chimney sweep song.
Placement: Acting and showmanship.
Reason for choice: As Disney, Guys and Dolls, and any number of Musical Turned Movie has taught us… sometimes certain fights can only be won through song and dance. And so we wanted the best.

And so it is it with this crack team that we defend the world from horrors unknown, battling back the darkness in the sky, but also in peoples hearts. Our team will work without pause to keep this world safe, for they are…. Team SuperAwesome.

And Out!